mighty2save:

*names and small details have been altered for legal reasons and to protect the identity of those mentioned*

the sun just begins to rise over the edge of the city as we start walking. seven of us, on a mission to follow the call of God no matter the time and commitment.

the street lights click off and we fall into silence on the corner taking in the small of rain and ringing of ambulances. sister x* bows her head and we all pray, without another word aloud we all walk up the porch steps to a house where God has clearly put the call.

as we walk in sister x whispers to me that we need to go check on someone, she is most likely in the back room.

the dangers are evident, needles are strewn across the floor, plastic cards line glass tables that are covered with a white powder. sleeping bodies are laid against the molding floor boards. some people have tourniquet like fabric wrapped around their upper arm. you can see spots of blood on the carpet.

carly whispers under her breath, lord i just ask you help me bring a small piece of heaven to hell on earth. with that she begins to distribute sandwiches with a wide grin and grace. i keep reminding my body to fake it till i make it because more than anything i don’t want to be here.

i don’t want to keep breathing in the smell of rotting bodies and molding walls. i don’t want to move away from the grabs of someone on the wrong high. i don’t want to risk my whole life to bring a glimpse of God to these people.

but God catches me and cleanses my heart. i am nothing but falling upward to a place where i once again will be clean.

i look over just in time to see peter help a 14 year old run away up from a puddle of blood on the floor. he gently whispers and prays in her ear and begins to walk her the block down to the emergency room.

we have been here 2 minutes and my heart already breaks. my eyes already swell.

i begin to swiftly follow sister x down the hall, i step over arms and legs and viles and needles and puddles of pee and trash. she opens the door and my eyes adjust to the even dimmer light inside this room.

and i stop. i am paralyzed in the door. what i see cannot exist, it must be part of an alternate realm. my mind takes in snapshots of the scene infront of me.

a steel post bed a long the wall.

a small bedside table, lopsided.

cloaked window.

young adult women dead in the corner.

a toddler standing by the bed. in braids. covered in dirt. not moving an inch.

no. this is not real, this is not allowed to happen just a block from a school where people spend 50,000 dollars to get a top notch education but have no clue this is going on. this cannot be happening somewhere in walking distance of 3 fortune 500 companies where people wear business suits more expensive than the possessions of every person in this house. this is not allowed to happen inside a country where we are supposedly the best in the world. this is not allowed to happen period.

God open my eyes so i may behold what is wonderful here. psalm 119:1

and with that we move around the room. joy* will not move into the arms of anyone, my brain fuzzes over as i move towards her and tears brim over. she leans into my body and i stroke her knotted braided hair and my heart leaps out of my body.

the cross is raised over and over where the poor bow. this is what changes, i realize i am not climbing towers and ladders to grow closer to God but instead i am reaching lower into the depths of his earth, to where Jesus lays.

and we walk blocks to the police station a body limp in my arms and the sound of breathing in my ears. sister x is allowed to keep joy one night on emergency terms before she is transferred to a more permanent emergency family (which turns into numerous hospital visits). joy is bathed and set on the bed wrapped in a blue towel. her skin is pale, ghostly pale, her eyes a deep shade of brown that burrows into your very soul. her lips are bright red and her hair a contrastingly dark brown pulled into knotted pig tails.

she is beautiful. my heart aches for her her first 3 years, the 3 years she spent being dragged and drugged and beat and forgotten.

just as a whisper i hear the Lord speak to my heart, she is one of the five children, she is going to teach you more about me than any theology school and book could ever do.

i show her a photo of kindsi and she babbles at it with a kind of joy she has yet to have expressed and the puzzle pieces of my life begin to fall together.

God gives the world all it needs he just doesn’t spread it out evenly, because that is our job. my world now revolves around a small child who flooded visions and dreams of mine and kindsis a month before she even entered our life.

God to enfold me,
God to surround me,
God in my speaking,
God in my thinking.

God in my sleeping,
God in my waking,
God in my watching,
God in my hoping.

God in my life,
God in my lips,
God in my soul,
God in my heart.

God in my sufficing,
God in my slumber,
God in mine ever-living soul,
God in mine eternity.

Celtic Prayer

*please note again the names here have been changed joy is not this childs name and some details of this story have been changed to protect “joys” privacy and safety under the law*

(Source: leadme2thecross1, via leadme2thecross1)